I'll admit it, for the past couple of weeks I have been a complete and utter pig. Binging like crazy, everything unhealthy. Just the other day I was swimming with a friend, in bikinis and it was the worst feeling, never have I hated the way I look more. At the end of the summer might be going away, again somewhere where will be swimming and I have made a promise to myself that I will be at the very most 130lbs. I thought I'd start now rather than tomorrow and so I am brushing my teeth after this post so all I can have is water, also found my retainer which I better wear tonight since my teeth have moved- this is going to be painful.
I am keeping a record of measurements, but I won't bother posting them like I will with the weigh ins. However was thinking of maybe doing a post on the cm/inches lost every fortnight or once a month.
Home is just miserable at the moment, me and my dad never get along anymore and now my mum isn't talking to him. The only person I really get along with well in my family isn't even going to be here over summer. Then I only really have one friend who seems to be bored of me, most probably just me being paranoid but I have always struggled to make friends and then keeping them has been even harder. Usually I lose friends over other people turning them against me, or by me letting them walk all over me until I realise by which point I'm no use. At least I will finally admit that how people treated me all through school was bullying, I have always been the quiet easy target and now I'm even terrified of posting anything on fb as I think its just something they will find a way of taking the piss of. You hear people say this all the time but it is absolutely true, if you're being bullied SAY SOMETHING!!! To ANYONE. Its something I still can't do, but boy I wish I could. If you're being bullied and want to talk about it I will always be here :)
Well I'm signing off now, will be back again tomorrow <3
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