Just Remembered-Wii Fit!

So heres me moaning about not having scales that work when I remembered I have the wii fit! Not sure how accurate it is though. But I weighed myself just now, not the best time I know, and I was sure that after all the pigging out I'd be around 147lbs but no I am 142lbs and a BMI of 24.09. This is far from great I know but at least its not as bad as I had thought. Although I do have to turn the wii on and load it up just to find out my weight, suppose I might aswell use it whilst its on. Can't believe this is suppose to be a healthy weight! Healthy weight my ass, this is the fat side of life!


Off to go use the wii fit. Side note; today has just seen a cup of coffee, 1 stick of gum and then water oh and my vits.


Catch you all later <3

Lonely Days...

Afternoon world! Thought I'd write another post, feeling pretty down today-well now I am. Started off fine and was actually feeling in the mood to tidy/clear out and organise my room, then mum happened. She tends to play the victim, you don't need to say anything to her for her to tell you your horrible, ungrateful and all the rest. So now here I am sitting in my room after she told me she wanted me to leave her alone. Right now it would be nice to have someone to go see, go round a friends or something but oh wait; I don't really have any I can talk too. Guess its going to be one of them lonely days, the one friend I really have I text yesterday but still no reply-like I said think she's bored of me.

Anyway, scales still aren't working so I have no clue what I weigh. Hopefully when I weigh myself though it won't be too high, by the time they get fixed I should be back to where I started last time. Today is a fasting day, just to kick things off. Although I have had a cup of coffee this morning, heard it helps speed the metabolism so will give it try and have 1 cup every morning. Side note; I also take multi-vitamins and that. Also really wish I could into drinking green tea but I HATE the stuff, can't even have it with sugar-it also looks disgusting.

Oh, the mother just came back in. Now she said she's sorry but still manages to make herself the victim. So sick of this. I can't fight back, oh know if I stick up for myself then I'm am being a selfish bitch. Just sit back and take it.


Going to surf the blogging world now and find some blogs to follow, wish I could remember the ones I used to like and read. Later gators!! <3

Here I Am Again...

I'll admit it, for the past couple of weeks  I have been a complete and utter pig. Binging like crazy, everything unhealthy. Just the other day I was swimming with a friend, in bikinis and it was the worst feeling, never have I hated the way I look more. At the end of the summer might be going away, again somewhere where will be swimming and I have made a promise to myself that I will be at the very most 130lbs. I thought I'd start now rather than tomorrow and so I am brushing my teeth after this post so all I can have is water, also found my retainer which I better wear tonight since my teeth have moved- this is going to be painful.

I am keeping a record of measurements, but I won't bother posting them like I will with the weigh ins. However was thinking of maybe doing a post on the cm/inches lost every fortnight or once a month.

Home is just miserable at the moment, me and my dad never get along anymore and now my mum isn't talking to him. The only person I really get along with well in my family isn't even going to be here over summer. Then I only really have one friend who seems to be bored of me, most probably just me being paranoid but I have always struggled to make friends and then keeping them has been even harder. Usually I lose friends over other people turning them against me, or by me letting them walk all over me until I realise by which point I'm no use. At least I will finally admit that how people treated me all through school was bullying, I have always been the quiet easy target and now I'm even terrified of posting anything on fb as I think its just something they will find a way of taking the piss of. You hear people say this all the time but it is absolutely true, if you're being bullied SAY SOMETHING!!! To ANYONE. Its something I still can't do, but boy I wish I could. If you're being bullied and want to talk about it I will always be here :)


Well I'm signing off now, will be back again tomorrow <3

Introduction...

So this is my first post, but not my first blog. I am so sick of failing myself, hating the reflection. I have always been painfully shy, confidence is non-existant in me. First step into gaining confidence is feeling good about how I look. This will be the one and last time of trying, because this time, I will not fail.

This is not 'pro' anything. Have I starved? Yes, but I am not pro-ana. Have I purged? Yes, but I am not pro-mia. Its hard to explain, why I am doing this but I know theres others of you out there doing the same. We need to surport each other, because know one else will and of course that means surporting those in recovery. So if any of you out there want a talk, someone to confide in, I am just an email away.

This will be a journal, food journal, and just ramblings/rants. A way to free my thoughts.


That is all for this post, catch you all laters <3